Why adults date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from old ages. Affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause misery, and other troubles. In addition you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, money, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I am conserned typically though it is only the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your family or anyone else? You would need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a large humber of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.